Trigger Warning for content
I am a survivor of severe and prolonged physical, emotional and sexual abuse. Which began by the hands of my mother, who physically and emotionally, abused me every day of my life. She also enabled one of her boyfriends to sexually abuse me. I have experienced domestic abuse, both physical and psychological. I also grew up knowing paedophiles, who sexually abused me from when I was an infant. I have also experienced numerous rapes.
When I was sixteen years old I was abducted into sex trafficking and forced into pornography and prostitution. I have experienced P.T.S.D, including self abuse, depression, anxiety, drug and alcohol dependency and suicide attempts.
In 2000 I started using my skills in art as a form of self therapy. I painted forty two images that portrayed my personal story of abuse. They are my expression of, not just a depiction of pain and trauma, but how each abuse made me feel. And also the consequences and reverberations of secondary victimisation, such as stigmatisation, isolation, condemnation and victim blaming. Which I have personally experienced and is as painful as the abuse itself.
I continue to paint, in order to give a tangible voice and resonance to other victims and survivors, who cannot express their own atrocities, especially words that they they sometimes are unable to say. I receive many messages of thanks from survivors all over the world. This is how I personally manage my trauma, this is my ‘antidote’.
I am now a psychological artist, author and advocate against child and adult abuse.
You can view all of my paintings, book and blog on my website (Please be aware that some of my images may cause distress)
I also feel that there are many missed opportunities, to utilise the valuable experiences of survivors of abuse within police and health agencies. My secondary goal is to work alongside qualified mental health agencies, social workers, professors, police agencies and the judicial system. In order to assist them in a better understanding by my experiences and insight, which could expand and enhance their teaching programmes and/ or knowledge base.
This was proven, when I collaborated with professor Claudia Paola Tapia of Barry university, Florida. Who utilised both my art and my insight into the teaching programmes of trainee social workers. My art has also been used in other therapy training and earlier this year, it was used in an anti-trafficking seminar for police agencies and judiciaries in Switzerland.
Last year, my memoirs were published and are available on Amazon.
“Silence empowers the perpetrators and impairs the victims” -Suzzan Blac 2009